Snap

You see this amazing movie. You feel. You’re not sure what exactly but you do.

You feel like writing again.

About?

About the woman you’ve been seeing for last three months?

About what you’ve been thinking all these days?  

About what you see around you? And what you don’t?

And then. Snap. You come out of it.

May be I'll have another smoke.

Coldplay - Lost!

Just because I'm losing

Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm in a cross


Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse


I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...


You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one


And you'll be lost
Every river that you try to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing stops
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

.....................................................................................................

Questions!

What do I write about? It’s been long! Do I write about the fact that I’ve my Fridays free for next three months…but then, facts don’t interest the readers…emotions do…so, am I writing this for someone? Or is this just to check whether I can still write or not? Well, I have another question – is it good enough to just keep asking the questions or should one seek the answers too? And there I have my next question – what is good enough? Who decides it? If it’s me, then honestly, I don’t know coz it’s the same me in the first place who is asking the question. So, question is – if someone raises a question, can he answer it himself or is that a task meant for some other person? I guess, this one is simple enough…he can answer it himself too…but hey…what if we have two answers? Which one do you take as the right one? Now you can very well figure out the next question – what’s a right answer? Who ascertains the criteria, you, who had asked the question or the other person who has come up with an answer for you?

Ok…I agree it’s all subjective…so suppose if I randomly or by means of a weird algorithm make a choice…now I resolve the rest of my questions similarly…what if at some point I realize that something is wrong? Do I have the freedom to change my choice? Now if you say no, does that mean in case I’m pissed off with something in my life presently that’s because of some choice I made randomly (or through an algo) that I shouldn’t have made? I guess, that’s a fair conclusion! So voila…we have an answer!!! But then, what was the question…am I writing this for someone to read or just to pass time? No…or just to check if I can write anymore or not? By the way…why do people write? coz…

a) they have nothing else to do

b) they like playing with words

c) they have something to say which they want to express

d) they get paid for it!

Or all of the above???

Sorry...No More QUESTIONS.

Another comeback!

Duniya hila denge ham, ham duniya hila dein ham!
Duniya hila denge ham, ham duniya hila dein ham!

This theme song of Mumbai Indians resounded in the background a day before yesterday as Jayasurya and Uthappa headed back to their dugout after the win over Chennai Superkings. The crowd at Wankhede had witnessed a gem of an innings from Sanath Jayasurya that would have reminded many of his 151 against India a few years back on the same ground. Eleven sixes on a pitch that troubled the rest of the batsmen and where even the bowlers found it hard to control the swing, speaks volume of the Srilankan's calibre. And then everyone thought, where was he till now? This was the 8th game for the Mumbai team in the IPL and prior to this innings he hadn't looked even a shadow of what he did last night. So what did click? When Ian Bishop asked this very question to him in the presentation, his answer had me in awe.

"It`s the best day of my life to open with Sachin. The advantage he lends is that he lets me play my own game." These were the words from one of the most lethal opening batsmen in One day game. What great respect among these two cricketers of the gentlemen era! And that is when I thought that though Sachin had scored only 12 and that too less than run a ball in the last match, his presence had greater significance.

Even tonight against Kolkata Knight Riders, Sachin's captaincy was exemplary as Mumbai Indians went on to achieve their straight fifth victory. Bringing on Pollock to finish his spell in one go who then got his third wicket and keeping a slip through out the match where the Mumbai team had four catches taken showed that he had a plan in his mind. The three seniors, Sachin,Sanath and Shaun have clearly put their vast experience to use and discussed roles for the players. After defeats in its first four games, this display from the Mumbai team has been phenomenol and Sachin has surely been instrumental in it deriving the best even out of the veterans. If him being in the playing eleven can enthuse the others to such a level then yes, it has been a great comeback by him as well. He's a team man and what better result for him than a great run of victories for his team. Kudos to them and their captain!


Mumbai's victories have been emphatic and after a bad start they have grown from strength to strength. And now they surely look like to be one of the semi-finalists.Chennai SuperKings and Kolkata Knight Riders seem to be slipping down the table but, all it takes is one good innings, one good spell or may be one spectacular effort in the field to lift the spirit of the team. And that's what the point here is - don't ever write off the greats coz a comeback might just be around the corner!

What a Comeback!

The stage was set. The crowd was shouting at the top of its voice. The captain had handed him the weapon. The target was staring him right in the eye. He ran the longest run-up any bowler ever had. Good length delivery outside the off-stump. Edge and taken!

The speed - 149 kmph. The opposition had lost its mainstay. He had taken off with both hands outstretched and the world now knew - Shoaib Akhtar was back!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! - four wickets in three overs.

It was the 35th match of the IPL - "Cricket ka Karma Yudh! "- and so far no one, despite the presence of such great names, had set any stadium abuzz like he did. Big names need a big stage and what better than a fully packed Eden Gardens with such a fervid and zealous audience. The build up to the game was intense as the two sides - Delhi Daredevils and Kolkata Knight Riders - had not faced each other even once though the tournament was more than half way through. It was touted as the match that would decide the fourth semi-finalist as Rajasthan, Chennai and Mohali looked certain to grab the first three spots and it was also said that Shoaib could be the difference. And that he was!

After limiting Knight Riders to 133, the Daredevils would have thought that the game is theirs for the taking and you couldn't blame them as before yesterday's match Viru had done well while chasing. Their top order had looked very impressive while scoring heavily against every opposition unlike other teams that were coming up with a new opening pair almost every game. But, this game was about to turn on its head.

Some players have special association with comebacks. I remember two or three occasions when Sachin came back from an injury and marked his return with a hundred! And how can I forget to mention our very own - Dada, Sourav Ganguly - while writing on comebacks. I am simply in the awe of this man. I had appeared for six interviews for each of the Indian Institutes of Management (ABCLIK) from Feb 1 to March 20 this year and in three of them (BCK) I mentioned Sourav Ganguly. Why?

Because whenever I watched him on TV last year, I saw determination and passion standing right in front of me. The 'Pepsi' ad where he said "apne Dada ko bhule to nai" , had become one of my favourites. We knew that he was a talented left handed batsman. We knew that he was more than handy with his medium pace. But, he gave captaincy a new definition. Indian captains weren't known to be aggressive and you can take a moment to gather the ones before him and their approach to the game. Kapil, Azhar, Sachin - they represented the gentlemen phase of the game. But, with the turn of the century, Youth had become the buzz word of our nation. Now, it was 'in' to express your emotions whatever they were. And so, the balcony at the Lord's had made its place into the history for a new reason altogether. :P


But that is not what it's about. Much has been said about the calibre and the class of Sourav, Shoaib and Sachin. Rather, this is about being out of action after all that fame and then fighting all odds to make a come back and an impressive one at that. Sourav did well against South Africa on his return to Int'l cricket but, to see again those 100 plus opening partnerships between him and Sachin against Engalnd was special. Then, his form peaked in the series against Pakistan where he scored his maiden double century and ended the year with 1000+ runs in both formats of the game. Sourav had become an inspiration for the youth of India. And it wasn't over then. His innings of 87 in the third test match at Kanpur can be easily rated his best as he displayed immense skills to handle the deteriorating pitch against more than capable attack of South Africa and now he is leading the Kolkata Knight Riders in the Indian Premier League, bagging two back to back man of the match awards for his elegant strokemaking and tight bowling. He was jumping like a school boy in the game and made a comment during the presentation as well for the national selectors who have thrown him out of the national ODI side for being lethargic on the field - "I hope they are watching this". I am sure they were while the crowd sang - 'Korbo, Lorbo, Jeetbo re!' symbolising the spirit of the man.

Shoaib was in news last month again for the wrong reasons as PCB had banned him for five years and his participation in IPL was out of question. But, he did make his debut yesterday after the relaxation given to him for a month. Another legend of the game, fighting it out to come back and then giving one of his best performances. Stuff of an Epic. Ain't it?

And today yet another protagonist will make his debut.

Ladies & Gentlemen, presenting to you all, the captain of Mumbai Indians - the legend himself - Sachin Tendulkar!


Another day. Another comeback?
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The circle of dreams!

Sometimes, you wished…on those long walks in solitary, you dreamed what it’d be like when you’ll get it…day in, day out you kept losing the meaning in rest of the things… they were not as simple as they used to be…you thought you’d lost it…but amidst all that gloom you pinned your hopes on it to be your savior…then you realized that it wasn’t enough to dream of it…something had to be done…a change was imminent…your desire became profound and you ran for it…you joined the race and you became one of them…you went through the lows and you savored your highs…you fought the times when they said you ain’t getting anywhere…you wanted it…now, you were getting closer…you felt it coming…you didn’t hear them playing you down…you kept going while all was going awry…and then you got it!

Now, you stand on the pinnacle and you take a look at what is lying underneath…you have left everything behind…you have crossed the finishing line and now you think whether it was worth it…it didn’t feel like what you thought it would…you can’t see any meaning surrounding you…and you ask yourself ~ why did you run in the first place…what were you chasing…was it this?

No, may be.

With conviction amiss, the clarity obscured and the confidence shattered you can’t figure out anything…you think was it the same you running behind that dream sometime ago and you know the answer.

May be you need to wish again. May be you want to dream again.

May be.

Blue Moon

Blue moon,
You saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my own.

Blue moon,
You knew just what I
was there for.
You heard me saying a pray for
Someone I really could care for.

Blue moon,
You saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my own.

Blue moon...
Without a love of my own.

pouring it out...

June 19,2007

Why are you upset?

I don’t know why, but it just doesn’t feel right.
Flashback: last week at Mumbai

Read
Namesake
Freakonomics
Everything you desire
And the Big Bazaar guy’s story

Listened to some awesome music
Spent nice time at home
Had got myself Nokia 5300; pics,videos,radio; it was kool.

And now, I am here; the feeling doesn’t sink in at all. It’s like I’ve been despoiled and left in this mesh of unknown entities. And what’s more ironic?

A week back I used to call this very mesh- mah home!

What kind of differences are we talking about here?

I’ll give you an example. I’ve realized it this morning itself and let me put it this way- the focus it exacts me to get acclimatized at my aerie is minimal in comparison to the amount of thinking I’ve been through in the last 24 hours. (And as I write this, I realize that it is nothing but normal that one gets into the groove more fluently among known people than….)

So, what’s up next?

Well, a lot of things need to be set right. It’s been a year here at my job today, so first of all I got to party!
Next will be, setting up all those different pieces of life together and trying to put them at their right place. Imagine this: Life as a large zillion-inch screen where myriad pieces have been assembled in front of you and when we say that we live life, all we do is move from one piece of the frame to another. And sometimes, when we sit back to ponder, we are basically looking at the different pieces in front of us and trying to figure out things in hindsight. Sounds interesting to me.

Abres los ojos, also gave a new insight into what life can be…all these interesting theories about what life is do make sense, but may be none of them is right!

And what about now?

You know, sometimes you look into the mirror and the man you see there is not you! It’s like an unknown soul trapped inside. The exterior just doesn’t connect to you. And then you adapt. So that’s what um thinking now. Need to make some changes with my place n the way I’ve been living there. Got to plan a few things today.

Thanks for listening me out. Thanks!

trying to feel good....aren't ya?

We all try to feel good…don’t we!!! Sometimes absolutely but mostly relatively…it’s always like your brain keeps looking for patterns and either it gives you a feeling of superiority or inferiority. We do certain things and we think in a certain manner unique to us, and then we try to put it all together into a perspective so as to see, where do we actually stand!!! We all have our share of apprehensions and so we all seek a reference to put ourselves in a mindset. And thus, there are fluctuations; one morning you exude confidence coz you’re feeling superior and another morning you feel somber with a defeatist outlook. There’s this lady in my office, generally very well dressed n spruced up but today she doesn’t seem her usual self and I see the vulnerability in her, that, may be, I hadn’t perceived before. And I see her staring at a colleague of hers sporadically and I say to myself: may be she’s trying to feel ‘relatively’ good…may be she’s trying to convince herself that she’s groomed better than her!!! Or may be her mind is stuck on the feud she had had with her husband in the morning…or may be it’s something else that I won’t ever figure out!!!

I’ve been reading this book by R.D.Laing called ‘Knots’ where he presents the correlation between various ways of perceiving and accepting things, through quite weird but logical statements!!! Read the few italicized statements below by Daniel Goldman based upon a similar logic flow and may be you can understand what do these guys intend to tell us.

“The range of what we think and do
is limited by what we fail to notice.
And because we fail to notice
that we fail to notice
there is little we can do
to change
until we notice
how failing to notice
shapes our thoughts and deeds”

It all seems so logical…ain’t it?

Logic, is how things seem to be connected…It may not be apparent but implicitly there is always some cause and effect relation. It’s amazing how Steven Levitt ascribes the ordinance regarding abortion in mid 70’s to the falling crime rates in american cities in early 90’s…“Preposterous”; you might say, but there is definitely a connection; the way the author puts it up and then dilates his hypothesis, you won’t be left with any apprehensions…

And coming to think of it,any conclusion\decision that we arrive at, comes through a logical flow of thoughts and if we can trace back through them, it’s actually quite easy to decipher how things got impacted from the previous mindset, influenced the next thought and finally lead to some action!!!

So what should we make out of this realisation???
Well, depends upon your own perspective...but I, for sure, am a firm believer of the existence of logic in almost all thoughts/reactions/perspectives we get…for the rest, they just don’t want to see it!