pouring it out...

June 19,2007

Why are you upset?

I don’t know why, but it just doesn’t feel right.
Flashback: last week at Mumbai

Read
Namesake
Freakonomics
Everything you desire
And the Big Bazaar guy’s story

Listened to some awesome music
Spent nice time at home
Had got myself Nokia 5300; pics,videos,radio; it was kool.

And now, I am here; the feeling doesn’t sink in at all. It’s like I’ve been despoiled and left in this mesh of unknown entities. And what’s more ironic?

A week back I used to call this very mesh- mah home!

What kind of differences are we talking about here?

I’ll give you an example. I’ve realized it this morning itself and let me put it this way- the focus it exacts me to get acclimatized at my aerie is minimal in comparison to the amount of thinking I’ve been through in the last 24 hours. (And as I write this, I realize that it is nothing but normal that one gets into the groove more fluently among known people than….)

So, what’s up next?

Well, a lot of things need to be set right. It’s been a year here at my job today, so first of all I got to party!
Next will be, setting up all those different pieces of life together and trying to put them at their right place. Imagine this: Life as a large zillion-inch screen where myriad pieces have been assembled in front of you and when we say that we live life, all we do is move from one piece of the frame to another. And sometimes, when we sit back to ponder, we are basically looking at the different pieces in front of us and trying to figure out things in hindsight. Sounds interesting to me.

Abres los ojos, also gave a new insight into what life can be…all these interesting theories about what life is do make sense, but may be none of them is right!

And what about now?

You know, sometimes you look into the mirror and the man you see there is not you! It’s like an unknown soul trapped inside. The exterior just doesn’t connect to you. And then you adapt. So that’s what um thinking now. Need to make some changes with my place n the way I’ve been living there. Got to plan a few things today.

Thanks for listening me out. Thanks!

trying to feel good....aren't ya?

We all try to feel good…don’t we!!! Sometimes absolutely but mostly relatively…it’s always like your brain keeps looking for patterns and either it gives you a feeling of superiority or inferiority. We do certain things and we think in a certain manner unique to us, and then we try to put it all together into a perspective so as to see, where do we actually stand!!! We all have our share of apprehensions and so we all seek a reference to put ourselves in a mindset. And thus, there are fluctuations; one morning you exude confidence coz you’re feeling superior and another morning you feel somber with a defeatist outlook. There’s this lady in my office, generally very well dressed n spruced up but today she doesn’t seem her usual self and I see the vulnerability in her, that, may be, I hadn’t perceived before. And I see her staring at a colleague of hers sporadically and I say to myself: may be she’s trying to feel ‘relatively’ good…may be she’s trying to convince herself that she’s groomed better than her!!! Or may be her mind is stuck on the feud she had had with her husband in the morning…or may be it’s something else that I won’t ever figure out!!!

I’ve been reading this book by R.D.Laing called ‘Knots’ where he presents the correlation between various ways of perceiving and accepting things, through quite weird but logical statements!!! Read the few italicized statements below by Daniel Goldman based upon a similar logic flow and may be you can understand what do these guys intend to tell us.

“The range of what we think and do
is limited by what we fail to notice.
And because we fail to notice
that we fail to notice
there is little we can do
to change
until we notice
how failing to notice
shapes our thoughts and deeds”

It all seems so logical…ain’t it?

Logic, is how things seem to be connected…It may not be apparent but implicitly there is always some cause and effect relation. It’s amazing how Steven Levitt ascribes the ordinance regarding abortion in mid 70’s to the falling crime rates in american cities in early 90’s…“Preposterous”; you might say, but there is definitely a connection; the way the author puts it up and then dilates his hypothesis, you won’t be left with any apprehensions…

And coming to think of it,any conclusion\decision that we arrive at, comes through a logical flow of thoughts and if we can trace back through them, it’s actually quite easy to decipher how things got impacted from the previous mindset, influenced the next thought and finally lead to some action!!!

So what should we make out of this realisation???
Well, depends upon your own perspective...but I, for sure, am a firm believer of the existence of logic in almost all thoughts/reactions/perspectives we get…for the rest, they just don’t want to see it!